6 Disturbing Jobs Held by Serial Killers
Serial killers are just like us – a bloodthirsty urge to kill, secret double lives, and a need to make that coin. They’re not all outwardly off in that special way that screams “psychotic maniac”. While some let their homicidal freak flag fly, most mass murderers look like some average, unassuming dude who works a regular job, like your Uncle Joe. (Side note: keep an eye on Uncle Joe.) Even serial killers have to make a living.
John Wayne Gacy
John Wayne Gacy was a model citizen who did a lot of home improvements, if you call killing 33 young men and teenage boys and burying them under his house an improvement. He would entice young men to his home with promises of construction work and then handcuff and strangle them. He offered them liquor and drugs first. He wasn’t a mannerless clod. The bodies kept piling up under the floorboards and his wife never suspected a thing. Gacy was good. They’re all good until they get caught.
The Day Job: Children’s party clown.
Gacy’s clown went by the name Pogo. Families invited him into their homes to entertain at birthday parties where he brought smiles and laughter to innocent, adoring little boys and girls. Throughout all the magic tricks and balloon animals, young men’s corpses were rotting away in the crawlspace of his home. If that don’t warm your heart it might make your blood run cold. When he wasn’t snuffing out lives or manning a seltzer bottle, Gacy would paint portraits of himself dressed as Pogo the Clown. Little known clown fact – clowns specifically paint their smiles with rounded corners so as not to scare children. Gacy must have felt like giving a sly nod to his true passion – killing men and hiding their bodies.
Dean Corll was an army veteran who loved his mom so much he was given a hardship discharge to come home and help her with the family business. A business that just happened to be directly across the street from an elementary school. Location is everything for a business. It certainly helped him kidnap, torture, rape and murder 27 young boys. Gotta meet that quota.
Day Job: Vice President of a candy company
The family business just happened to be a candy company. Every kids dream is to run their own candy store. It’s also a child killer’s dream job. He didn’t even need a windowless van to cruise neighborhoods looking for kids. The kids came to him. Like a child killers victim delivery service that he paid for in candy. He could write it all off as a business expense.
David Berkowitz aka The Son of Sam. David was a nice Jewish boy who was an army veteran and had a love for his .44 magnum. In the late 70s he wandered the streets of New York City shooting random couples and single women. He wounded, blinded and paralyzed many, and took six lives. Upon his arrest Berkowitz claimed his neighbor Sam’s dog was the messenger commanding him to kill. Naturally. The hunt for Berkowitz was one of the largest manhunts in New York City. Go big or go home. Well, he did go home AND go big. Some people have goals and reach them. Slacker.
Day Job: US Postal Worker
Berkowitz was just your friendly neighborhood mail sorter taking orders from a dog telling him to kill people, as dogs are wont to do. Reading your postcards, dropping your fragile parcels, kicking your fragile packages, doubling up your junk mail, these are the skills Berkowitz excelled at when he wasn’t excelling at shooting people. I’d err on the side of safety and tip your postman during the holiday season. Why take the risk? Don’t risk it. Had he taken out some coworkers he could have been one of the first federal employees to “Go Postal”. You can’t win ‘em all.
Dennis Rader, The BTK Killer, his self-given nickname, which stood for Bind, Torture, Kill. Descriptive, but not a very creative. He strangled 10 people including a mother, father, and their two youngest children, all in their own homes. That’s one stop shopping right there. At his trial he took great delight in recounting, in gory detail, how he murdered each person, while their family members sat in court and listened. He also took kinky pictures of himself tied up in lingerie. That’s a Tumblr I probably wouldn’t follow. Probably.
Day Job: ADT Home Security System Installer
That’s right. The guy breaking in to people’s homes and lying in wait to murder them was an alarm installer. He got PAID to case joints and learn how to disarm the very security systems meant to keep serial killers out. Why waste your time researching how-to’s when you can get first-hand paid training? That’s just practical. The ADT signs in people’s yards were like shining little beacons saying, “Hey! Come murder us! You know how to get in!” So maybe keep your home alarm system’s brand on the down low.
Fred West was an English chap who, with help from his second wife Rosemary, tortured, raped and strangled 12 young women and girls. You know, for kicks. To up the ante on disturbing, West strangled one of his own daughters after she told a friend her he had been raping her. Not only did he and his wife then dismember her, they made one of their sons help dig the hole on the back patio in which they buried her. Keep it in the family. I think a stint in therapy might be on the agenda for the remaining West children.
Day Job: Ice Cream Truck Driver
Ice cream man! ICE CREAM MAN! Not so fast there, Sally. Better check that truck for serial killers first. Found one! Queuing up that familiar childhood tune was like ringing the dinner bell, or in this case, the victim bell. So many unassuming, adoring faces were drawn in to Fred daily by his deft storytelling, sincerity, politeness, and promise of sweet, sweet ice cream. They had no idea they were being sized up for their rape potential and murderability.
Ted Bundy was a good lookin’ sumbitch. Charismatic, sweet, and persuasive. He often posed as an invalid/cripple with a fake cast to help lure women into helping him carry his belongings to his Volkswagen Bug. He did a lot of cross country murdering in that gold Bug. God help you if you were a pretty, long haired brunette with her hair parted down the middle. Bundy was prone to parting skulls. Convicted of 36 murders but probably responsible for a hundred more, Bundy even acted as his own council during his trial. Despite his murderous history, the judge complimented Ted on his prowess as a lawyer and lamented the loss of such a brilliant legal mind.
Day Job: Suicide Prevention Hotline
When not personally taking young women’s lives, Ted Bundy was encouraging others to not take their own. He didn’t need the competition. He also happened to work alongside the future true crime writer, Ann Rule. What bad timing on Teds’ part. Ann’s first bestselling book, The Stranger Beside Me, is about her personal interactions with Bundy before, during and after his murder spree, right up to his execution. Who would suspect that a caring, concerned soul helping people in their most dire hour would turn out to be a killer? I guess that was the point. Ted Bundy was a smart cat.